Hide and Seek
by OpheliacAngel
Summary: He told himself he didn't need Benny's huge hands stroking over his back, the sharp scruff of Benny's chin against his cheek, the way Benny would carry him to bed if Dean was too tired to walk and would kiss him until he stopped feeling so self-conscious. No. He didn't need any of those things, but he still went. For DreamsofSpike's Fandom Stocking and h/c bingo amnesty.


**Title:** Hide and Seek

 **Author:** OpheliacAngel

 **Pairing:** Benny/Dean

 **Genres:** Romance/Hurt/Comfort

 **Rating:** Teen

 **Summary:** He told himself he didn't need Benny's huge hands stroking over his back, the sharp scruff of Benny's chin against his cheek, the way Benny would carry him to bed if Dean was too tired to walk and would kiss him until he stopped feeling so self-conscious.

No. He didn't need any of those things, but he still went.

 **A/N:** Written for Fandom Stocking for DreamsofSpike's Stocking. Your prompts are lovely and hurt/comfort is my favorite thing too :D

Also for h/c_bingo amnesty for the prompt 'abandonment issues.'

* * *

Benny wrapped his arms around Dean as soon as the hunter was coaxed inside, soaking wet hair and face dripping water onto the carpet. Dean was so cold his teeth were chattering, hands wrapped around his arms even with Benny's arms around him. Dean usually wore layers but tonight was different, he had come to Benny in a pair of faded jeans and a thin, long sleeved shirt. No wonder why the boy was so cold.

The hunter looked gaunt too, cheekbones visible and freckles even more so. Benny could admire the way they spanned beautifully across his cheeks and nose, but he could practically hear the hunter's tummy rumbling.

"When's the last time you ate, sugah? You feelin' okay?" He could feel heat and pressed the back of his hand to Dean's forehead. Despite the water droplets there his skin felt dry and hot to the touch. Benny grabbed a blanket off of the couch and wrapped him up in it, hands rubbing the soft material against Dean's arms so as to coax warmth back there.

Dean looked like he was hardly on his feet so he pulled one of the hunter's arms across his shoulder and mostly carried him into the bedroom. He didn't expect Dean to be able to help much but he was surprised that he wasn't struggling to take more of his own weight. That's wasn't like Dean. Benny didn't mind, even though the hunter was heavier given he was waterlogged. He was more worried about Dean's fading consciousness. Dean's eyes were glazed over, his skin feverish, and he didn't seem to know where he was either. After Benny lowered him down onto the bed Dean proved him wrong.

"Ben…," he started, hand reaching up to trail along Benny's scruff. Benny shushed him and started layering blankets on top of him. Dean seemed to shiver harder despite that Benny was working quickly, and his hand clenched Benny's shirt every time he came near with more blankets. Benny could see the desperation in his eyes, the 'don't leave me,' the 'Sammy doesn't want me anymore,' the 'you won't leave me, will ya, Benny?'

"Ah, sugah," he croaked, bending down to curl himself around the hunter. The cheek pressed against Benny's was burning, fingers that dug into the back of his neck hot too, but he didn't mind that nor the stubble on Dean's chin, which he ran his fingers over. He could smell the whiskey on Dean's breath, knew he had drank on an empty stomach for god knew what reason - any reason seemed good enough for Dean these days - and would pay for it in the morning. Benny hadn't seen that car of his so he must have walked from god knew where and for who knew how long. "Lucky for you I made some chicken and dumplins, sure that'll warm ya up some," he said, tasting the saltiness of Dean's tears as they spilled, unbidden, from his eyes.

"Didn't know where else to go, Benny."

Dean rarely came to him stable anymore. There was always something eating away at him, gnawing at his bones and devouring every shred of self-preservation left. Benny was honored that Dean came to him, that he trusted Benny when he was at his lowest, but it ate away at the vampire too, seeing Dean in that state, not being able to do enough to help.

Benny brushed the tears away with the pad of his thumb, delicately tracing the freckles along Dean's cheek and then running his thumb along Dean's chapped lips, pressing a kiss to them.

"You belong right here, Dean. You belong right here and nowhere else." He had told Dean many a time that Benny's home was his own and he was free to come anytime, that the vampire would always have a home-cooked meal waiting for him and a nice, warm bed and some company. No booze and no judgments, those were Benny's only rules. Dean came here because he knew nothing could hurt him here, that the world couldn't get at him. Benny could protect him here, Benny could _love_ him here. "Rest, cherie." Dean obeyed, curling onto his side and facing away from him. "I'll be back with a bowl," Benny said, already making for the door and hoping Dean wouldn't fall asleep before he got back. He needed to get some food in his boy and _fast_. Dean would already be waking up tomorrow with a hangover, he didn't need an empty stomach on top of that.

Benny would have some cleanup in the morning, massive by the looks of it, but at least he had his boy back.

* * *

Someone rubbed Dean's back as he vomited over the side of the bed, a strong arm snaked around him to prevent him from toppling off. Pain thundered in his head but at least the room was dark and the arm around him pleasantly cool. Dean groaned and pulled away from the edge, accepting a cup of water to rinse his mouth out with. He nodded to let Benny know he was done and then the vampire pulled him back against a broad but comfortably squishy chest. A huge hand settled on Dean's forehead and then was quickly replaced with a cool washcloth, another placed on his neck. Dean actually preferred Benny's hand, but he wasn't about to say that out loud.

"How ya feeling, sugah?" Benny rumbled in his ear, pressing Dean back against soft pillows. Every part of him was sore and he didn't think the headache would go away anytime soon, but he felt like he could relax when he wasn't under Sam's scrutinizing stare, as if waiting for Dean to make one wrong move. Benny wasn't like that Benny was just _there_ , understood what it was before Dean could even try to explain it. It was something Dean knew he took for granted. He shouldn't come here and expect things from Benny.

He shouldn't train himself to want this, to expect _this._

"Like you scraped me off the sidewalk," Dean admitted, clearing his throat. He didn't try to hide from Benny, or rather, _couldn't._ Benny had learned to read him like an open book in Purgatory. There had been no privacy there but Dean found that he missed it. It had just been blood and guts and the endless hunt. So now he came here, hoping to find some semblance of what he'd left behind, of what he couldn't get back to.

Dean heard Benny breathe out sharply and he looked over. The guy looked tired but Dean figured he must look worse; his hands were shaking which meant he was itching for another drink. No matter how long he raided Benny's cabinets he wouldn't come up with anything. That was one of Benny's rules: don't bring in alcohol. Dean wondered if Benny was an alcoholic once upon a time, but he suspected it was more to do with Dean needing a few dozen drinks a day to be able to stand up straight and stay there.

Benny met his eyes and almost looked like he was about to drop them but didn't. He looked at Dean steadily, holding him, bidding him to stay put. After so long obeying Benny in the wilds of Purgatory, since vamp hearing went a helluva long way, the instinct still came naturally to Dean. "What's eatin' at ya, Dean? Sam say something again?"

Dean looked down and away. It was a telltale sign that it _was_ Sam, but Benny would have known that if he had turned away or not. "Nah," he shook his head. Benny took away the washcloth at his neck but quickly replaced it again. The cold water felt good against his skin, yet it was also a shock to his system. He was a lot more awake than he wanted to be at this point. "You know me, Benny. Always ready to go off on a bender."

"Ya haven't been eatin' or sleepin'. Don't think I haven't noticed. You're a wreck every time you come here." Benny's drawl softened Dean a little bit. He hated to make him worry but Benny had never turned him away yet.

Dean wasn't stupid enough to think that would last, that someday Benny would get tired of his bullshit and lock Dean out. "I won't come then."

The vampire's face fell, eyebrows pinching together, a pained look crossing his face. No, Benny wouldn't turn him away. He'd rather kill himself than do that. "Now, Dean. I ain't meaning it like that. I'm just worried about ya, is all. Ain't I got a right ta be worried?"

Sam was worried too, but he nagged and chipped away at Dean all day long until Dean's hands started shaking and his head started pounding and he lost track of how many times he'd filled his glass and Dean had to get the hell out. Sam looked at him like he was a freak, like he hadn't come back his brother, like Dean had gone feral and would jump up and attack his own goddamn brother. He asked Dean why he slept on the floor and why he didn't eat and it wasn't helping Dean from not getting lost inside his own head. He'd look at the clock once and then look at it again and it would be four hours later. He'd tell himself not to go to Benny even though he knew he needed him like he needed fucking _air._ He told himself he didn't need Benny's huge hands stroking over his back, the sharp scruff of Benny's chin against his cheek, the way Benny would carry him to bed if Dean was too tired to walk and would kiss him until he stopped feeling so self-conscious.

No. He didn't need any of those things, but he still went.

Something caved inside Dean and he tipped forward, breathing hard, the washcloth at his forehead falling into his lap and Dean wringing his hands in it. Benny wrapped an arm around him, started rubbing his back as Dean tried to convince him. "I'm not broken. Coming back here didn't break me."

Benny shushed him and Dean's head came forward until it was resting against Benny's chest, and Benny stroked a hand down the back of his head and cupped the back of his neck. The vampire smelled amazing, like sugar and honey and _home._ He moved Dean back against the pillows again, but when Dean made some noise he couldn't control Benny hushed him. "M' not leavin', sugah. It's alright. You ain't broken. You just need time to adjust, thas all.

Dean nodded, hands coming around to Benny's back to fist themselves into the vampire's shirt, face burrowing against Benny's neck, Benny's arms coming around him and surrounding him and holding Dean until he calmed down again and long after that. Benny always put him back together somehow, always sent him back new for a while until Dean started to splinter again. That endless cycle.

Benny's knuckles tapped against Dean's head. "What'cha thinkin about in that head o' yours?" Dean closed his eyes and sunk into him. Benny was like this huge, cuddly bear and Dean was willing to take advantage of it while he could. "You ain't got nothin' to be scared of here," Benny reassured. You got me, cherie." Dean already knew that but the reminders were always nice. He lifted his head up and kissed him, and while there was no heat in Benny's mouth he tasted even better than he smelled. Dean drifted away for a minute until Benny pulled a blanket around him, tilted his head up and kissed Dean as if he were something precious, something to be revered, and he knew that with Benny that was no lie. Those eyes were dark and lustful but patient, and his laughter was the sound of happiness in Dean's world when his stomach rumbled. "How's about some beignets I cooked up last night? Sound good?"

Dean smiled. "Not sweet enough for ya, Benny?"

"Mmm," Benny hummed, licking a stripe up Dean's neck. "You got it all wrong. Beignets are my breakfast but _you're_ my dessert." Dean followed Benny into the kitchen and let the vampire pull a chair out for him at the breakfast bar, watching him pop the sugary treats in the microwave before plopping a plate down in front of him with three huge beignets. Dean licked his lips and dug in despite that they burned his tongue, the sugar coating his gums and making him feel warm again. "You eat up now. Get your strength back." Benny watched him and Dean knew he was practically salivating. He loved watching Dean eat, which was why he always cooked up obscene amounts of food when Dean came by. Dean really should be insulted, what with Benny trying to get him fattened up and ready to settle down, but Benny's home cooking was just too damn good to refuse.

Benny took him back to bed after that, kissing him until he fell asleep.

Dean really shouldn't get used to that either.

* * *

Benny woke to the sound of his phone vibrating. He didn't look at the caller ID before he picked up, and that was a mistake.

"Hello?" He dragged a hand over his face and looked back at Dean. Still asleep, and god did he look gorgeous.

"My brother coming home soon?"

Benny took another glance back at Dean before he left the room, shutting the door softly behind him. Sam had never called before, not even Dean's phone. Benny never really thought about whether he knew Dean came here, just assumed he didn't. It wasn't something he had wanted to think about. "Sure he is."

"Good." Sam's voice was tight, leaving no room for argument. It was like his hand was a vice around Benny's chest, squeezing him, reminding him of his place. "Just make sure you send him back in better condition than you did last time." With that he hung up the phone, leaving Benny's heart feeling ten times heavier than it was before. If he couldn't fix Dean then there wasn't much reason for him to be. At least, that was how he saw it, and apparently Dean's brother too.

It didn't make it any better that Dean left the next day. Benny wanted the hunter to stay but he bit his tongue every time, knowing that wasn't his place either. It wasn't his place to ask for things or want things, even if he wanted Dean. Even if he knew Dean wanted him. It wasn't fair to ask Dean for something Benny knew he wasn't willing to give. Dean had to go his own way, reconnect with his brother again and he got that. He did. It just broke his heart every time Dean came, healed it too but broke it all the same.

"Ya come back again real soon, Dean. Ya hear me?"

Dean turned and held up a hand, shooting Benny a smile that he could hold onto.

That was when Benny started counting down the seconds again.

 **FIN**


End file.
